body home

A human has three parts: a body a mind and a list.

The shower water doesn’t know whether to stay hot or cold. I wash myself with thoughts instead. Pshhhh pshhhh. It’s the only thing I can trust the brain to do. 

*

My water bottle clinks a tempo that my feet follow. Two people wearing plaid cross paths. I wave to someone who doesn’t wave back. That makes me sad. I listen to my water bottle tippy tap.

I like the way the moon and the sun seem to touch at dusk. It’s rare to hear young boys laugh outside. At dawn, the birds are an orchestra. Their calls will echo through the windows a kind of carefree happiness we can’t understand anymore. 

An unwelcome thought enters my brain and hands me ice cream cake that’s already melted. Tippy tap. Tippy tap. Now, to clean up the mess. 

The moon and the sun part ways to darkness. Tippy tap. This is when I go to sleep and wake up parched. Searching for water I spill the whole bottle. Now the ground is a slippy slide. Wobbly dark, unsteady dark. Tippy tap. No tippy tap. Tippy tap.

Some thoughts are workable, meaning a horse gallops and doesn’t fly. And some are judgments, meaning I think a horse should fly. 

I bite my tongue. Some thoughts must not be uttered.

Today the tippy tap has me teetering on the edge.

*

A spiral is something we want to avoid. A spiral goes tippy tap but instead of humming tippy tap it screams TIPPY TAP. And then I have to take my water bottle out of my backpack and slam it on the ground so it goes CLINKdiCLINKdiclinkdiclinkdiclinkdiclinkdi.

It’s either oatmeal or toast with a thin spread of nutella and of course, a cup of coffee. The coffee goes down the drain and the body whizzes awake clinkdiclink. In this way, the day starts out on a good note. 

And then the car steers a bit off track when I’m not paying attention. The car goes clinkdiclinkdiclink on the hazard tape. 

When I yawn, my jaw cracks clinkdiclink like a geriatric. If I yawn too many times, I can’t open my mouth. If I kiss someone, my jaw goes swollen. 

Today my thoughts are. Today my thoughts are. Today my thoughts are. 

The American industrial spiral complex. Clinkdiclink. 

Today I’ve fallen off the earth, and I’m riding towards the sun.

*

A human has three parts: a body a mind and a list. Like the body and mind, the list can change. A list of things held true. A list of things to do. A list of things that make you happy. When the mind goes pshhhh, lists can bring us back to the ground.

*

Now the rocket gets to descend back to earth again, where the birds chirp and the tree trucks never move out of place. 

The gravity here sucks, but it’s all we got. 

Our little body home.